Episode 707: So, You Want to Meet a Big Name?/第707集：那麼，你想認識一個大人物嗎？

 第707集：那麼，你想認識一個大人物嗎？

May 19, 2021 by Ivan Misner 2 Comments

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雖然這不是正式的 Ask Ivan 劇集，但本週的播客是對以下問題的回答。

“假設你，Ivan，回到30年前，想想你職業生涯的早期。如果你不認識某個人，你真的很欽佩他們，想嘗試接觸他們，你會怎麼做？

成為世界名人的問題在於，如果您真的與所有想與您交談的人交談，那麼您將沒有時間做您以之聞名的事情。如果您自己不是世界知名的，您將永遠無法超越他們的守門人。相反，尋找可以為您做介紹的人。

這就是 Misner 博士在 1990 年代遇到 Harvey Mackay 的方式。在嘗試直接聯繫 Mackay 近一年都失敗後，Ivan 在另一個城市遇到了一位 BNI董事，他認識 Mackay，因為他曾多次開車送他往返機場。

這位BNI的負責人不僅知道和欣賞Ivan的作品，他還有哈維麥凱助理的手機號碼。他打電話給她，解釋了Ivan想要聯繫的原因。接下來的一週，Harvey Mackay 親自打電話給 Ivan。

如果你想要這樣的結果，你不能要求任何人為你做介紹。它必須是一個非常了解你的工作並信任你的人——而且必須是一個你所聯繫的人信任的人。

如果你有一個關於遇見一個大名鼎鼎的人的好故事，請在評論中分享。

官方 BNI 播客由 Misner Audio Programs 贊助

第707集的完整文字記錄

Priscilla:

大家好，歡迎回到BNI官方播客。我是Priscilla Rice，來自加利福尼亞州伯克利的橡樹錄音棚。今天，BNI的創始人兼首席願景官與我通了電話。Ivan Misner博士。你好，Ivan，你好嗎？你在哪裡？

Ivan:

本週我與 BNI 美國全國會議在線。因此，召開會議總是令人興奮。我們已經做了幾十年了。所以，美好的一週。

Priscilla:

那麼這個話題是關於什麼的呢？

Ivan:

所以我最近有人問我一個問題。他說，"假設你，Ivan，回到30年前，想想你在職業生涯早期的情況。如果你不認識某個人，但你真的很欽佩他們，並想試著去接觸他們，你會怎麼做？" 我認為這是個有趣的問題。

Priscilla:

是的

Ivan:

這是我的答案。這是簡短的答案，然後我給你一個長的答案。簡單的回答是，我不會直接聯系他們。因為，你知道，如果他們是個大人物，他們可能不會接你的電話或電子郵件。所以我會找到認識那個人的人，然後我會得到一個介紹。

這正是我幾年前遇到 Harvey Mackay 的方式，他是《與鯊魚一起游泳而不被活生生吃掉》一書的作者。我在 1990 年代遇到了他。而且，你知道，我真的認為從一個值得信任的協力廠商獲得介紹會為會見某人鋪平道路，特別是如果某人是知名人士或非常成功的人。

Harvey比我在 90 年代時更出名，而且非常非常成功。你知道，在 90 年代，我的生意還很小，我沒有寫過任何暢銷書，所以很少有人知道 BNI 或我是誰。儘管如此，我還是想見 Harvey，問他是否願意為我當時正在寫的一本書貢獻一篇文章。他寫了關於網絡的文章，我認為他會為這本書做出很好的貢獻。

問題是，沒有知名度，無論我試了多少次，我無法通過他的助手，伙計，我試過了；我試了好幾次都沒能通過助手。花了一年的大部分時間。

但有一天，我在美國的另一個州，這是我為我的第一本書做的一次圖書之旅的一部分，那個城市的一位 BNI 會員問當地主任他是否可以接我機場，帶我去我的酒店。我告訴導演，我很想親自見到會員。

所以我們花了一些時間在驅動器上。他問了我很多關於我的書的問題，也問了我關於 BNI 的問題。

他參加了我那週參加的活動，當他問我是否願意第二天搭便車回機場時，我說：“是的，當然。”在回程中，我們繼續我們之前的談話，當我們離機場越來越近時，他感謝我給他提出的關於如何建立强大個人網絡的所有建議。

然後他問我，他問我那些我經常說人們應該使用的神奇的詞語，“有什麼我可以為你做的嗎？我能為你做什麼？” 嗯，你知道，正如我之前所說，我一直試圖與哈維·麥凱取得聯繫。我問了很多人，問他們是否認識哈威，到目前為止，我真的找不到任何人。

所以我想，到底是怎麼回事，我會問他的。“你知道，我一直試圖與 Harvey Mackay 建立聯繫，但我沒有任何運氣。我就是無法超越他的助手。你不會碰巧認識一個認識哈維的人，對吧？” Priscilla，我向你發誓，他說：“當然。我非常了解他的助手。事實上，我有她的手機號碼。”

Priscilla:
Wow.

Ivan:

我說，“真的嗎？你怎麼知道她的號碼？” 我完全傻眼了。

我問他：“你怎麼認識她的？” 然後他繼續解釋說，他總是自願從機場開車送來訪的作家，因為這是讓他們在車上待上一個小時，了解他們，向他們學習的好方法。這就是他自願開車送我的原因。他告訴我，去年他同意從機場開車送Harvey時，他和她談過很多次。

他問我為什麼要和哈維聯繫。換句話說，他想在傳遞他可信賴的聯繫人之前先確定我的資格。我告訴他我想問 Harvey 他是否願意為我正在寫的名為 Masters of Networking 的書做出貢獻。

我說 Harvey 寫了一本關於網絡主題的書，他會是一個偉大的貢獻者，我真的希望他能加入這本書。司機說他很樂意聯繫 Harvey 的助手，解釋我在做什麼，並讓她與我聯繫。但是猜猜下週是誰給我打電話的？

Priscilla:

那個助理？

Ivan:

不。Harvey Mackay 直接打電話給我。

Priscilla:

這真是不可思議!

Ivan:

我們進行了一次很棒的交談。顯然，這位 BNI 成員不僅建立了聯繫，而且還徹底解釋了我試圖通過的原因。

所以那個助手甚至都沒有聯系我。這很好，她非常信任他，將資訊傳遞給Harvey ，Harvey 直接與我聯系。Harvey 是商界的偶像，我很榮幸能與他交談。這是一次精彩的談話。

我了解到他在網絡方面絕對言出必行。他非常擅長了解我和我正在做的書。事實上，他同意為這本書做出貢獻。

這些年來我真的更了解 Harvey，他在我們的一次 BNI 大會上發言，我有機會在許多其他場合與他交談。有些人可能認為它會發生，因為我問了。但我想說這只是故事的一部分。是的，我問過。

但我問了我認識的人，以及我認為信任我的人。更重要的是，他們知道我不會通過做我所說的預期目的以外的事情來背叛這種信任。這真的很重要。人們不想向那些只想向他們擁有的重要聯繫人出售某些東西的人提供引薦，除非該聯繫人當然要求這種聯繫。

這就是答案的長版本。如果我回到30年前，想想我職業生涯的早期階段，我想遇到一個我真正崇拜的人，我會怎麼做？這很容易。我會請信任我的人推薦我。這位先生信任我，因為他知道我的工作很多年了。他是BNI會員。它對我有效，我至今仍認為它對我有效。

我會向所有聽到這個的人表示，它也對你有用。如果你有一個類似的故事，你與某人建立了良好的關係，良好的職業關係，然後你提出了要求，然後你得到了你正在尋找的聯繫人，我很樂意你在 BNI 播客上分享。當然，歡迎您隨時發表評論。我閱讀了 BNI 播客上發布的每一條評論。好了，今天就到這裡了，Priscilla。有什麼想法嗎？我們有一點時間。對此有什麼想法嗎？

Priscilla:

我喜歡這個故事。這是一個如此偉大的故事。我只想補充一點。你知道你總是說你是只帶骨頭的狗嗎？

Ivan:

是的

Priscilla:

好吧，這是一個完美的例子，因為你有這個願望去見這個人，你只是問了又問。

Ivan:

是的

Priscilla:

就像你說的，這不是它起作用的唯一原因。但你並沒有放棄。

Ivan:

是的，我想關鍵是我問了那些我覺得信任我的人。我覺得我是誰，在信譽，如果你去能見度，信譽，盈利能力，我相信我問的人，我是可信的，很多時候他們是 BNI 會員。儘管他們不認識我，但就個人而言，他們必然知道我的名聲。他們知道我是誰，他們信任我。這是關鍵。因為你知道一句老話，我知道我們做了一個關於這個的播客，Priscilla，“問一個問題從來都沒有壞處。”

Priscilla:

是的

Ivan:

嗯，這是錯誤的。問起來確實很痛苦。如果你問，但沒有關係或沒有信任，那麼它實際上損害了關係。所以必須有一定程度的信任。所以當你有那種程度的信任時，你剛才描述的就對了，你必須問，問，問，問你相信信任你的人。因為你永遠不知道誰認識誰。

當他告訴我：“是的，我認識她。我有她的手機號碼。” 我喜歡這種英式表達，我目瞪口呆。我只是想，什麼？真的嗎？

Priscilla:

是的，因為他為所有這些作者提供志願服務，所以他會認識她是很有意義的。所以這真的很棒。

Ivan:

你知道，他顯然與她建立了關係，因為，你知道，她足夠信任他。當然，Harvey 認識了他並且認識了他。所以他們足夠信任他，你甚至不必和助理說話，讓哈維打電話就行了。再一次，我大吃一驚，因為，你知道，電話裡有哈維麥凱。

Priscilla:

很完美。我喜歡。

Ivan:

今天就到這裡，Priscilla。非常感謝你。

Priscilla:

好的，非常感謝你，Ivan。好了，這周就到這裡。但我想告訴你，我們有了一個新的贊助商。對於我們的播客，請訪問www.misneraudioprograms.com。這些音訊節目將為您提供工具和靈感，以有力地增强您的BNI體驗，幫助您提升業務。

因此，無論您是新會員還是資深會員，這些音訊節目都將幫助您釋放網絡的力量。在www.misneraudioprograms.com上查看您可以獲得的優秀資料，並使用促銷程式碼IVAN50為所有音訊節目提供50%的折扣，[此程式碼在有限的時間內有效]，所有收益將捐給BNI基金會。非常感謝您的收聽。我是Priscilla Rice，我們期待著你下週再次加入我們，觀看另一集激動人心的BNI官方播客。

Episode 707: So, You Want to Meet a Big Name?

May 19, 2021 by Ivan Misner 2 Comments

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Synopsis

While this isn’t officially an Ask Ivan episode, this week’s podcast is an answer to the following question.

Let’s say that you, Ivan, go back 30 years and think about where you were early in your career. If you didn’t know someone personally, and you really admired them, and wanted to take a shot at reaching them, how would you do that?

The problem with being world famous is that if you actually talked to all the people who want to talk to you, you wouldn’t have any time to do the thing you’re famous for. If you’re not world famous yourself, you’ll never get past their gatekeepers. Instead, look for someone who can make an introduction for you.

This is how Dr. Misner met Harvey Mackay in the 1990s. After almost a year of failed attempts to reach Mackay directly, Ivan met a BNI director in another city who knew Mackay because he had driven him to and from the airport several times.

This BNI director not only knew and admired Ivan’s work, he had the mobile number of Harvey Mackay’s assistant. He called her and explained why Ivan wanted to get in touch. The next week, Harvey Mackay himself called Ivan.

If you want this kind of result, you can’t ask just anyone to make an introduction for you. It has to be someone who knows your work well and trusts you–and it has to be someone whose word the person you’re reaching out to trusts.

If you have a great story about meeting a Big Name, share it in the comments.

The Official BNI Podcast is sponsored by Misner Audio Programs.

Complete Transcript of Episode 707

Priscilla:
Hello everybody and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast. I’m Priscilla Rice and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California. And I’m joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI. Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?

Ivan:
I am online this week with the BNI U.S. National Conference. So it’s always a blast doing the conferences. We’ve been doing them for decades now. So, good week.

Priscilla:
So what’s this topic about?

Ivan:
So I had someone recently asked me a question. He said, “Let’s say that you, Ivan, go back 30 years and think about where you were early in your career. If you didn’t know someone personally, and you really admired them, and wanted to take a shot at reaching them, how would you do that?” I thought that was an interesting question.

Priscilla:
Yeah.

Ivan:
So here’s my answer. Here’s the short answer, then I’ll give you the long answer. The short answer is, I would not reach out to them directly. Because, you know, if they’re a big name, they’re probably not going to take your call or your email. So I would find someone who knows that person and I’d get an introduction.

And that’s exactly how I met Harvey Mackay years ago, who is the author of Swim With The Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive. I met him back in the 1990s. And, you know, I really think that getting an introduction from a trusted third party smooths the path to meeting someone, especially if that someone is well-known or very successful. Harvey was way more well-known than I was back in the 90s, and very, very successful. You know, in the 90s, my business was still small, I hadn’t written any best-selling books, so, very few people knew anything about BNI or who I was. Still, I wanted to meet Harvey and ask him if he would contribute a piece to a book that I was working on at the time. And he’d written about networking, I thought he’d make a good contributor to the book.

The problem was that with no name recognition, I couldn’t get past his assistant, no matter how many times I tried, and man, I tried; I tried multiple times and just couldn’t get past the assistant. It took the better part of a year. But one day, I was in another state in the U.S., it was part of a book tour that I was doing for one of my first books, and a BNI member in that city asked the local Director if he could pick me up at the airport and take me to my hotel. And I told the Director, I’d love to meet the member personally. So we spent some time on the drive. And he asked me a lot of questions about my book and asked me questions about BNI.

He came to the event that I did that week, and he asked if I’d like a ride back to the airport the next day, I said, “Yeah, sure.” And on the ride back, we continued our previous conversation, and as we got closer to the airport, he thanked me for all the suggestions I’d given him on how to build a powerful personal network. And then he asked me, he asked me the magic words that I always say people should use, “Is there anything I can do for you? What can I do for you?” Well, you know, as I said earlier, I had been trying to get through to Harvey Mackay. And I had asked people and asked people if they knew Harvey, and so far, I really couldn’t find anyone. So I thought, what the heck, I’ll ask him. “You know, I’ve been trying to connect with Harvey Mackay and I haven’t had any luck. I just can’t get past his assistant. You wouldn’t happen to know someone that knows Harvey, would you?” And Priscilla, I swear to you, he says, “Sure. I know his assistant really well. In fact, I have her mobile number.”

Priscilla:
Wow.

Ivan:
And I’m like, “Really? How do you have her number?” And I was absolutely dumbfounded, absolutely dumbfounded. And I asked him, “How do you know her?” He then went on to explain that he always volunteers to drive visiting authors from the airport, because it’s a great way to get them in a car for an hour, and learn about them, and learn from them. And that’s why he volunteered to drive me. He told me that he’d talked to her many times when he agreed to drive Harvey from the airport the previous year.

And he asked me why I wanted to connect with Harvey. In other words, he wanted to he wanted to qualify me before he passed on his trusted contact. And I told him that I wanted to ask Harvey if he’d be willing to contribute to a book I was writing called Masters of Networking. And I said Harvey had written a book on the topic of networking and he’d be such a great contributor, I really wanted him in the book. The driver said he’d be happy reach out to Harvey’s assistant, explain what I’m doing, and ask her to contact me. But guess who called me the next week?

Priscilla:
The assistant?

Ivan:
No. Harvey Mackay called me directly.

Priscilla:
That’s incredible!

Ivan:
We had a great conversation. Obviously, this BNI member not only made the connection, but explained it thoroughly why I was trying to get through. So the assistant didn’t even reach out to me. That was good enough, she trusted HIM enough to pass on the information to Harvey, and Harvey contacted me directly. Harvey is an icon in the business world, and I was really honored to talk to him. It was a fantastic conversation.

I learned that he absolutely walks the talk when it comes to networking. He was masterful in getting to learn about me and about the book I was doing. In fact, he agreed to provide a contribution to the book. And I really got to know Harvey better over the years, he spoke at one of our BNI Conventions, and I had a chance to talk to him on many other occasions. Some people may think that it’ll happen just because I asked. But I would say that’s only part of the story. Yeah, I asked. But I asked people who I knew, and who I believe trusted me. More importantly, they knew I wouldn’t betray that trust by doing something other than what I said my intended purpose was. And that’s really important. People don’t want to give a referral to someone that just wants to sell something to an important contact they have unless that contact, of course, is asking for that kind of a connection.

So that’s the long version of the answer. If I were to go back 30 years and think about where I was early on in my career, and I wanted to meet someone I really admire, and how would I do that? It’s easy. I’d ask people who trust me for the referral. And this gentleman trusted me because he knew of my work for many years. He was a BNI member. It worked for me, and I still think it works for me today. And I would submit to everyone listening to this, that it will work for you as well. If you’ve got a story similar to that, where you had a good relationship with someone, a good professional relationship, and then you made the ask, and then you got the contact you were looking for, I’d love for you to share it here on BNI Podcast. And of course, you are always welcome to leave comments. I read every comment that is posted up here on BNI Podcast. Well, that’s it for today, Priscilla. Any thoughts? We’ve got a little time. Any thoughts on that?

Priscilla:

I love that story. It’s such a great story. And I just want to add to it a little bit. You know how you always talk about it, that you’re a dog with a bone?

Ivan:
Yeah.

Priscilla:
Well, this is a perfect example of that, because you had this desire to meet this person, and you just asked and asked and asked.

Ivan:
Yeah.

Priscilla:
And like you said, it wasn’t the only reason that it worked. But you didn’t give up.

Ivan:
Yeah, and I think the key here is that I asked people who I felt trusted me. Who I felt that I was at credibility, if you go visibility, credibility, profitability, I believe that the people I was asking, I was at credibility with, and many times they were BNI members. And even though they didn’t know me, necessarily, personally, they knew of my reputation. They knew who I was, and they trusted me. And that’s the key. Because, you know the old saying, and I know we did a podcast on this, Priscilla, “It never hurts to ask.”

Priscilla:
Yeah.

Ivan:
Well, that’s wrong. It does hurt to ask. If you ask and there’s no relationship or no trust, then it actually hurts the relationship. And so there has to be a level of trust. So when you have that level of trust, then what you just described is right on the money, you got to ask and ask and ask and ask people who you believe trust you. Because you just never know who someone knows. When he told me, “Yeah, I know her. I’ve got her mobile phone number.” I was, I love this British expression, I was gobsmacked. I was just like, What? Really?

Priscilla:
Yeah, it makes so much sense that he would know her because of his volunteering for all these authors. So that was really great.

Ivan:
It was and you know, he obviously developed a relationship with her because, you know, she trusted him enough. And Harvey, of course, met him and knew of him. And so they trusted him enough that they were like, yeah, you don’t even have to talk to the assistant, let’s just have Harvey call. And again, I was gobsmacked because, you know, there’s Harvey Mackay on the phone.

Priscilla:
Perfect. I love that.

Ivan:
That’s it for today, Priscilla. Thank you so much.

Priscilla:
Okay, thank you so much, Ivan. Well, that’s it for this week. But I want to tell you that we have a new sponsor. For our podcast, and it is www.misneraudioprograms.com. These audio programs will provide you with the tools and the inspiration to powerfully enhance your BNI experience and help you boost your business. So whether you are a new or a seasoned member, these audio programs will help you unlock the power of networking. Check out the great material available to you at www.misneraudioprograms.com and use the promo code IVAN50 for 50% off of all audio programs, [this code is good for a limited time], and all of the proceeds go to the BNI Foundation. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we look forward to having you join us again next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

https://www.bnipodcast.com/2021/05/19/episode-707-so-you-want-to-meet-a-big-name/