The Importance of Getting Along With Others / 與他人相處的重要性

與他人相處的重要性

在我很小的時候，母親給了我一張紙，說：“外交就是讓別人有了你的方法，才是藝術。”她接著說：“親愛的，我愛你，但你是瓷器店 裡的公牛，你只是把人撞倒了。你必須學會如何與人合作。“這個建議對我的後半生影響很大。回想一下你的小學成績單，以及它是如何給你的能力打分的 ，，你是否能和別人玩得好。嗯，事情並沒有改變。我相信，你在商業上的成功，尤其是在人際交往方面的成功，意味著你需要學會如何合作-或者說，換句 話說，與他人相處。

你不能總是選擇誰來游樂場，你也不能總是選擇和誰合作，你也不會有發言權。為什麼你一定要和所有人做朋友？你甚至不一定要喜歡每一個人。同樣重要的是要認識到，不同的性格會增加不同的觀點，如果管理得當，實際上可以使一個團體更有成效。

不要讓別人來控制你的行為。這要從一些寬容開始，這個在實踐中經常被人引用的詞，在實踐中被忽略了。切記，要把目光放在球上，盡量不要對那些難相處的人太過敏感。以下是一些技巧，可以幫助你完成這個過程。

當你和一個難纏的人說話時，以下是5件事情需要考慮的事情

• 聽而不爭。
• 提出問題。不是爭論性的問題，而是能讓你更深入了解他們的觀點的問題。
• 對他們的觀點表現出興趣。你不一定非得同意才有興趣。相信我這一點。
• 如果可以的話，讓他們把注意力集中在解決問題的方法上，而不是只關注問題。如果我們所做的只是專注於問題，就會成為問題專家。對他們說："我明白了，我看到了問題。現在，真正的問題來了。什麼是一個現實的解決方案。如果他們提供了一個糟糕的解決方案，那就說："好吧，這是一種可能性。另一個現實的解決方案是什麼？ " 輔導他們走向冷靜。
• 清晰，開放，坦誠，直接的溝通，是與難纏的人或其他人的交交道的最佳方式。每次我與人發生大的挑戰時，都會有一方或另一方在溝通中忍住了。這並不意味著減輕人們的負擔。 這意味著要與他們進行專業交談。

當你的小組裡有困難的人時要注意的六點建議

• 通過專注於解決方案，讓自己對人們來說是無價之寶。
• 通過檢查自己的情緒，關注結果，遠離戲劇性的東西，並在戲劇性的東西中崛起。
• 不要抱怨 要樂觀。 抱怨不是奧林匹克運動。
• 時刻注意自己的情緒，不要讓別人限制你的成功。
• 使用您的支持系統。 與其他人討論解決方案。
• 成為領導者，而不是離職者。

不要讓他們的瘋狂驅使你向著你不想去的方向發展。正如Lisa Earle McLeod在她的書《The Triangle of Truth》中所說："我發現，實際上是什麼讓我們自己走到了瘋狂的邊緣，不是別人的功能障礙，而是他們對自己的功能障礙的否認。你知道，他們是如何出去表現得很正常， 甚至自以為是，好像我們才是瘋子一樣。"

不要讓別人控制你的成功。因為別人的刁難而離開一個機會（或一個網絡），會使他們對你有影響力，也會讓他們自由支配別人。不要放棄這種力量。

The Importance of Getting Along With Others

When I was very young, my mother gave me a paperweight that said, “Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.” She went on to say, “Honey, I love you but you are a bull in a china shop; you just run people over. You have to learn how to work with people.” This advice was a major influence on me for the rest of my life. Think back to your elementary school report card and how it graded you on your ability to play well with others. Well, things haven’t changed. I believe your success in business, and particularly your success at networking, means that you need to learn how to collaborate — or in other words, getting along with others.

You can’t always choose who comes to the playground, and you won’t always get a say in who you’re working with. Why do you have to be friends with everybody? You don’t even have to like everybody. It’s also important to recognize that different personalities add different perspectives and that, when managed well, can actually make a group more productive.

Do not allow other people to control your actions. This begins with some tolerance, a frequently invoked word that’s under-used in practice. Remember, keep your eye on the ball and try not to be too sensitive about those difficult people. Here are some techniques that will help you with this process.

Here are 5 things to consider when you’re talking to a difficult person

• Listen without arguing.
• Ask questions. Not argumentative questions, but questions that will give you more insight into their point of view.
• Show interest in their point of view. You don’t have to agree with it to show interest. Trust me on this one.
• If you can, get them to focus on the solutions to the issue and not just the problem. If all we do is focus on the problem, we become an expert on problems. Say to them: I get it, I see the issue. Now, the real question: What’s a realistic solution. If they offer a lousy solution, then say, “OK, that’s one possibility. What’s another realistic solution?” Coach them toward calmness.
• Clear, open, honest and direct communication is the best way to deal with difficult people or other people who are dealing with them. Every time I’ve had big challenges with people, one side or the other held back in their communication. That doesn’t mean unload on people. It means to talk to them professionally.

Six suggestions to be aware of when there is a difficult person in your group

• Make yourself invaluable to people by focusing on solutions.
• Stay clear of drama and rise above fray by checking your emotions and focusing on results.
• Don’t complain. Be positive. Complaining is not an Olympic sport.
• Stay aware of your emotions, and don’t let others limit your success.
• Use your support system. Talk to others about the solution.
• Be a leader, not a leaver.

Don’t let their craziness drive you in a direction you don’t want to go. As Lisa Earle McLeod says in her book, The Triangle of Truth, “I discovered that what actually puts us over the edge towards craziness ourselves is not other people’s dysfunctions; it’s their denial of their dysfunctions. You know, how they go out acting all normal, and even self-righteous as if we’re the ones who are loopy.”

Don’t let others control your success. Leaving an opportunity (or a network) because someone is being difficult gives them leverage over you and it gives them free rein to lord over others. Don’t give away that power.

https://ivanmisner.com/importance-getting-along-others/