Episode 646: Is Your Network Deep or Shallow? (Classic Podcast) / 第646集:你的網絡是深還是淺?(經典播客)



第646集:你的網絡是深還是淺?(經典播客)







你的人脈有可能有深有淺。所有的人脈關係都是從淺層次開始的,而你在人脈活動中遇到的人,往往比你在那裡聽到的那些膚淺的東西更了解他們。


BNI是一個加深你的人際關係網的機會,因為你每週都會遇到同樣的人,可以更好地了解他們。深入的人際關係,讓你了解別人的家庭、興趣愛好和個人目標,才是最有力量的。


要建立一個深度的人際關係網,就要注意和別人交談時,注意別人說什麼。這方面的專家是 Harvey Mackay,在《 Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty》一書中就有例證。他做筆記,當他第二次見到一個人時,他會記住他們的孩子的名字和年齡。

我們在BNI有一個工具,可以將淺層的網絡變成深層的網絡:它就是GAINS Exchange。這項工作可以讓你作為會員受益,即使是認識多年的會員之間也能增加推薦人脈。

Networking Now.提供給您。



BNI播客第382集完整實錄




Priscilla:
大家好,歡迎回到BNI官方播客,由NetworkingNow.com為大家帶來的NetworkingNow.com,這是網絡上領先的網絡下載網站。我是Priscilla Rice,我來自加州伯克利的Live Oak錄音室。我今天在電話中加入了BNI的創始人和主席, Dr. Ivan Misner。你好, Ivan,你在哪裡?



Ivan:
嗨,Priscilla。我本週在洛杉磯地區的BNI總部。上週我們古董了一個大型會議,我們正在培訓來自世界各地的國家董事。我們現在已經接近60個國家,所以我們在BNI總部有很多新的國家。


Priscilla:
你認為BNI有多少會員?



Ivan:
我可以告訴你,幾乎是171,000名會員。




Priscilla:
好多啊



Ivan:
這是Mr. Toad’s瘋狂之旅。




Priscilla:
我想也是



Ivan:
在組織中獲得了不可估量的成長。今天我們要談的話題是:你的人脈是深還是淺?你的個人人脈和職業人脈是深還是淺?有可能是兩者都有一點。問題是,你的人脈深的部分有多深?

淺層次的人脈是所有的人都會在這里相遇,基本上都是在這裡開始的,在我看來,這樣的人太多了,會停留在這裡。你認識了很多人,也了解了很多人,但你不會做得更深入。 BNI是一個小小的例外,因為你每週都會遇到一些人,你可以和他們深入交流。所以BNI是一個很好的方式,可以把你的人脈深入到很多地方。

但你知道,這還不止於此,因為你是在其他地方建立聯繫,或者說你應該在其他地方建立聯繫,比如說商會、服務俱樂部、那些類型的組織。通常情況下,你不知道很多時候,更多關於這些人比你在其他的網絡活動中遇到的表面的東西要多得多。

一個深度的人脈,是指你所擁有的人脈中,有很多你比較了解的人脈,而這些人通常都是對你了解比較多的人。有一個大的人脈是很好的,但如果你的人脈是一英里寬的,有很多人,但沒有深層次的關係,或者說只有很少的人脈,那它永遠不會很強大。你需要有一個廣而深的人脈,有一些真正深入的關係。要最大限度地擴大這些關係,你需要盡可能多地了解那些人的情況。

比如說,你想了解他們的家庭情況,他們的愛好,他們的興趣愛好。發展深度人脈的大師之一是 Harvey MackayHarvey寫了《Swim with the Sharks》,他寫了《Dig Your Well Before You Are Thirsty》。我認識Harvey,對我來說,Harvey所問的信息量和保留的信息量之多,確實讓我吃驚。

我很肯定他不記得了。他把它寫下來。當他確定你是他想在他的深層人脈中的人時,他真的會和你進行對話。我第一次見到哈維Harvey的時候,是通過電話,我們聊得很開心。有趣的是,我第二次和Harvey談話的時候,他開門見山地說:「那麼,你的孩子們怎麼樣?你有三個孩子,對嗎?阿什利怎麼樣了?卡西現在怎麼樣了?特雷怎麼樣了?他準備好上大學了嗎?」我當時想,哈維很厲害。

現在,他在他的書《Dig Your Well Before You Are Thirsty》中談到了這樣做,但看到他的行動真的很好,因為他真的很注意我第一次談話時給他的信息,而且他顯然做了很好的記錄,這樣當我們再次談話時,他就能從中吸取教訓。我完全被驚呆了。我很驚訝,他竟然做了這麼細緻的筆記,而且當我們再次談話時,他一定要用這些筆記。

事實證明,隨著我對他的了解越來越多,他仔細地把這些信息編成目錄,每次見面或交談時,他都會把這些信息加進去。你知道的,他們的寵物的名字,孩子的名字,你的生日,你的企業周年紀念日,任何他能得到的信息,他都會加進去。

有一次我在一個會議上看到他開始談論那裡的人。那是一個非常著名的BNI主任。這是在BNI會議上。他開始提供信息,真的很詳細的信息 關於他在哪裡上學,他的專業是什麼,他有什麼樣的寵物。我想,我不知道那是誰。當他說是誰的時候,我真的覺得很丟臉。關於這個人,有太多我真的不知道的地方。

因此,這種獲取信息的技術非常有價值。 我說這是因為我們在BNI中有一個工具可以做到這一點。 我們有一個工具。 它稱為GAINS Exchange。 通過GAINS Exchange,我發現與深層或休閒業務關係加深的最好的事情之一。

現在,如果你正在監聽這個播客,不知道我在說什麼嗎,它就在大多數版本的MSP手冊中。你可以從你本地的BNI董事那裡得到它 的幾本書中,包括《Business by Referral》和第四版的《 World’s Best Known Marketing Secret》中有它。它在我的許多資料和許多BNI的資料中都有。

GAINS Exchange代表著目標,成就,網絡,興趣和技能。如果你填寫了這個,Priscilla,你有沒有填寫過GAINS Exchange?



Priscilla:
我有的。那是很久以前的事了。我記得我當時有點緊張。那是我剛加入BNI的時候,我已經做了10年的會員了。所以我已經有很長時間沒有看了。


Ivan:
他們是一對一的好幫手。


Priscilla:
是的,我知道。 我相信他們是。


Ivan:
他們開始談話,稍後我將討論。 另外,在BNIConnect中,您可以填寫GAINS Exchange。 您一直都在這裡,因此不必每次都重做。 在BNIConnect上直接填寫您的GAINS Exchange

這些在一對一的時候效果很好。我們測試了一下。我們把GAINS單子給了各分會,讓他們試用一下,看看效果如何。有一段對話特別讓我難忘。

在一次會議上,有兩個人抗議。 他們只是抗議。 「這是wienie。」 那是他們的表情。「這很奇怪,很愚蠢。 我們不需要這樣做就能更好地了解彼此。 請注意,他們已經在本章中待了將近一年,但他們從未相互推薦。」

我們停住了腳,說:「我們希望你這樣做。幫一個忙。測試一下吧。如果它不工作,那好,我們只是需要知道。」

在交談中,他們通過GAINS Exchange進行了分享,發現他們既是國際教練的足球教練,又是兒子足球隊的足球教練。 突然之間,這些傢伙成了最好的朋友。 他們談論足球。 他們談論戲劇。 他們談到了這項運動。 他們甚至最終互相尋找對方。 一個會偵察比賽,另一個也會偵察比賽。

猜猜看,短短幾個月後發生了什麼?我想你一定能猜到。




Priscilla:
他們互相推薦了對方。



Ivan:
他們是這樣的, 是的。他們認識了一年..... ...一年了,但從來沒有建立起聯繫。他們因為兒子們的運動隊而建立了聯繫。這就是我說的,你的人際關係網是淺的還是深的。有時候,你可以通過學習一個共同的興趣愛好或者共同的愛好,你們兩個人都喜歡做的事情,這樣簡單的事情,就可以開始深入到人脈和關係中去。

看到大家在做GAINS Exchange的時候,一開始嚴格從業務層面來談,真的很有意思。你是做什麼工作的?生意是什麼樣子的?然後突然間,他們中的一個人分享了一些獨特的東西,比如一個不尋常的愛好,或者是他們夢想著去的地方,然後談話就開始了。

所以像興趣愛好或旅行目標之類的東西也是有用的信息,因為人們關心的不僅僅是你的業務。當你與人建立起關係的時候,他們也會關心你。興趣愛好往往是一個橋樑,可以把人們帶入更深層次的對話中去了解你,並建立起這種關係,最終通過轉介紹人。


Priscilla:
我有話要說,我覺得當你和某人的關係更深,你可能會分享一些你很脆弱的事情,或者是發生過的問題--也許是你的健康問題,或者是你的家庭問題。它是一種更個人化和更​​親密的。我想這也可能來自於GAINS Exchange。只是看起來,這不僅僅是知道你的孩子叫什麼名字或者他們什麼時候高中畢業。



Ivan:
不僅如此,Harvey肯定比表面的東西還要深入。 我只是驚訝他的身價。 但是你是對的,它的作用遠不止於此。 我認為GAINS Exchange是該過程的開始。

我不確定當人們剛開始互相了解時,有時您會給TMI太多的信息,太快了。 但是,隨著關係發展的自然發展,在某些問題上變得脆弱並不是一件壞事。

甚至可以從生意上的問題開始。 「你知道嗎,這次生意上的事情,我真的搞砸了,我應該換個方式來處理。你有沒有遇到過這樣的事情?」 從別人那裡得到反饋。這是一個合理安全的地方,可以開始進行這種對話。


但這一切都要從分享這種信息開始,並確保你的人脈是深層次的,而不是淺層次的,你的人脈不光是廣,而且在某些地方是深層次的。 BNI是一個很好的地方,可以建立一些關係,利用GAINS交易所。



Priscilla:
很好。好了,還有什麼?你還能說些什麼嗎?



Ivan:
今天我就講到這裡了。這裡是給今天可能正在聽的教育協調員們的事情。我很希望你們能在你們的分會里分享這個。打印出一份GAINS交流表,帶去分會,讓大家填寫。告訴你的分會成員去BNI Connect,完成他們的GAINS Exchange,然後建立一對一的交流,帶著你的GAINS Exchange,然後交換這些信息。然後分享和談論它。

最後,如果你正在收聽這個播客,我很想聽你是如何認識信息和GAINS Exchange的故事,或者你是如何看GAINS Exchange的,以及如何在組織中產生了一些積極的影響。請給我講一個你看到的關於GAINS Exchange的故事。



Priscilla:
好的,很好。謝謝你,Dr. Misner 我只想提醒聽眾們,這個播客是由NetworkingNow.com帶來的,它是網絡上領先的網絡下載網站。謝謝你的收聽。我是Priscilla Rice,我們希望你能在下週加入我們的播客節目 The Official BNI Podcast的另一個精彩節目。










Episode 646: Is Your Network Deep or Shallow? (Classic Podcast)







Chances are your network is both deep and shallow. All networking connections start out shallow, and you often don’t know more about the people you meet at networking events than the superficial things you hear about them there.
BNI is an opportunity to deepen your network, because you meet the same people week after week and can get to know them better. It’s the deep relationships, the ones where you know about people’s families, hobbies, and personal goals, that are the most powerful.
To build a deep network, pay attention to what people say when you talk to them. The expert on this is Harvey Mackay, as exemplified in Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty. He makes notes, and when he meets a person for the second time, he remembers the names and ages of their children.
We have a tool in BNI for turning a shallow network into a deep network: it’s the GAINS Exchange. This exercise can benefit you as a member and increase referrals even between members who have known each other for years.
Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 382 –

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by the NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?
Ivan:
Hi Priscilla. I am in the LA area at BNI headquarters this week. We had our big conference last week and we are training national directors from around the world. We are getting close to 60 countries now and so we have a number of new countries that are here at BNI headquarters.
Priscilla:
How many members do you think there are in BNI?
Ivan:
I can tell you almost exactly 171,000 members.
Priscilla:
That is a lot!
Ivan:
It has been Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.
Priscilla:
I bet.
Ivan:
Incredible growth in the organization. Today we are going to talk about the subject of is your network deep or is it shallow? Is your personal network and your professional network deep or shallow? Chances are it is a little bit of both. The questions are how strong is the deep part of your network?
A shallow network is where all of the people meet and basically start out and where in my opinion, far too many of them, will remain. You meet and you learn a little bit about a lot of people, but you don’t do much deeper. BNI is a little bit of an exception because you are meeting people every single week and you are able to go deep with them. So BNI is a great way to take your network deep in many places.
But you know, this goes beyond that because you are networking elsewhere, or you should be networking elsewhere, like chambers, service clubs, those kinds of organizations. You don’t know, oftentimes, much more about those people than the superficial things that you pick up as you meet them at the other networking events.
A deep network is one that contains contacts who you know a lot more about and who usually know a whole lot more about you. It’s great to have a large network, but if your network is a mile wide with tons of people but no deep relationships, or very few of them, it will never be very powerful. You need to have a wide and a deep network with some relationships that go really deep. To maximize those relationships, you need to know as much about that person as you possibly can.
For example, you want to find out about their family, their hobbies, their interests. One of the masters of developing a deep network is Harvey Mackay. Harvey wrote Swim with the Sharks and he wrote Dig Your Well Before You Are Thirsty. I know Harvey. It is truly amazing to me just how much information Harvey asks for and retains.
I am pretty confident he doesn’t remember it all. He writes it down. When he decides that you are someone he wants to have in his deep network, he really has a conversation with you. When I met Harvey for the first time, it was by phone and we had a really nice conversation. What was interesting was the second time I had a conversation with Harvey, he opened it by saying, “So, how are your kids? You have three, right? How is Ashley doing? What is Cassie doing now? How is Trey? Is he about ready to go to college?” I was like, Harvey is good.
Now, he talks about doing this in his book, Dig Your Well Before You Are Thirsty, but it is really nice to see him in action because he really paid attention to information that I gave him on the first conversation and he obviously kept good records so that when we had a conversation again, he was able to draw from it. I was totally flabbergasted. I was amazed that he took those kinds of careful notes and that he made sure to use them when we spoke again.
It turns out, as I have gotten to know him more, that he carefully catalogs that information and he adds to it every time he meets someone or talks to someone. He adds, you know, their pets’ names, their children’s names, your birthday, the anniversary of your business, whatever kind of information he can get.
I saw him once at a conference start talking about people there. It was a really well-known BNI Director. It was at a BNI Conference. He started giving information, really detailed information about where he went to school and what his major was and what kind of pets he had. I thought, I have no idea who that is. When he said who it was, I really felt like shame on me. There was so much about this person I really didn’t know.
So this technique about getting information is really valuable. I talk about it because we have a tool in BNI to do that. We have a tool. It is called the GAINS Exchange. One of the best things I have ever seen for shallow or casual business relationships to deepen is through the GAINS Exchange.
Now, if you are listening to this podcast and have no idea what I am talking about, it is in most versions of the MSP manual. You can get it from your local BNI Director. The GAINS Exchange is out there. It is also in several of my books including Business by Referral and the fourth edition of World’s Best Known Marketing Secret has it. It is in a lot of my material and a lot of BNI material.
The GAINS Exchange stands for goals, accomplishments, networks, interests and skills. If you fill this out- Priscilla, have you ever filled out a GAINS Exchange?
Priscilla:
I did. It was so long ago. I remember I kind of stressed about it. It was when I first joined BNI and I have been a member for 10 years. So it has been a long time since I looked at it.
Ivan:
They are great for one to one’s.
Priscilla:
Yeah, I know. I am sure they are.
Ivan:
They start the conversation, and I will talk about that in a moment. Also, in BNIConnect, you can fill out your GAINS Exchange. You have all there all the time, so you don’t have to redo it every time. Fill out your GAINS Exchange right there on BNIConnect.
These work great on one to ones. We tested this out. We gave the GAINS sheets, that you exchange this information, to chapters and asked them to try this out to see how it would work. One conversation in particular stuck with me.
It was a meeting where two guys who were given the form protested. They just protested. “This is wienie.” That was their expression. “This is wienie, silly. We don’t need to do this to get to know each other better. Mind you, they had been in the chapter for almost a year but they had never referred each other.”
We really stood our ground and said, “We want you to do this. Do it as a favor. Test it out. If it doesn’t work, fine, we need to know.”
During their conversation, they were sharing through the GAINS Exchange, and they found out that they were both soccer coaches- for our international fans, football coaches- for their sons’ soccer teams. All of a sudden these guys were practically best friends. They talked about soccer. They talked about plays. They talked about, you know, the sport. They ended up even actually scouting for each other. One would scout the competition and the other would scout the competition.
Guess what happened after just a few months. I bet you can guess.
Priscilla:
They gave each other referrals.
Ivan:
They did. Yeah. They had known each other a year- a year and never made a connection. They made a connection over their sons’ sports teams. This is what I am talking about with your network being shallow or deep. Sometimes you can start to go deep in a connection and a relationship by something as simple as learning a shared interest or a hobby, something you would both like to do.
It’s really fun to see people do the GAINS Exchange and they start out talking strictly on a business level. What do you do for a living? What is business like? And then suddenly, one of them shares something unique like an unusual hobby or a place that they dream of traveling to and the conversation just takes off.
So things like hobbies or travel goals are useful information, too, because really, people don’t care just about your business. As you build a relationship with people, they care about you. That hobby is oftentimes a bridge that can take people into a deeper conversation about you and build the relationship which ends up passing referrals.
Priscilla:
I have something to add, which is I think that a relationship goes deeper when you get a little more personal with somebody and you might share something you are vulnerable about or an issue that has happened- maybe your health or something in your family. It’s kind of more personal and more intimate. I guess that could come from a GAINS Exchange also. It just seems that it’s more than just knowing what your kids’ names are or when they are graduating high school.
Ivan:
It is more than that, and Harvey definitely goes deeper than just the superficial stuff. I was just amazed at how much he had. But you are right, it does go more than that. I think the GAINS Exchange is the beginning of that process.
I am not sure that when people are just getting to know each other – sometimes you can give TMI, too much information too quickly. But in a natural progression of the development of the relationship, being vulnerable on some issue is not a bad thing.
You can even start off with a business issue. “You know, I really blew it on this business issue and I should have handled this differently. Have you ever run into something like that?” Get feedback from somebody. It’s a reasonably safe place to begin to have that kind of dialogue.
But it all starts with sharing this kind of information and making sure that your network is deep, not just shallow, that it is not just wide but deep in some places. BNI is a great place to build some relationships and use the GAINS Exchange.
Priscilla:
Great. Okay. Well, what else? Can you say anything else about it?
Ivan:
That’s all I have for today. Here is the thing for education coordinators who might be listening to this today. I would love for you to share this at your chapter. Print out a GAINS Exchange, take it to the chapter, have everyone fill it out. Tell your chapter members to go to BNI Connect and complete their GAINS Exchange. Then set up one to ones and for all the one to ones you do in the future, take your GAINS Exchange with you and just exchange that information. Then share it and talk about it.
Last thing, if you are listening to this podcast, I would love to hear a story about how you used a GAINS Exchange or how you saw a GAINS Exchange used and how that led to something positive in the organization. Give me a story about something you have seen in terms of the GAINS Exchange.
Priscilla:
Okay, great. Thanks, Dr. Misner. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thanks for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.
https://www.bnipodcast.com/2020/02/19/episode-646-is-your-network-deep-or-shallow-classic-podcast/

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