Today’s podcast comes from a new book Dr. Misner is working on, and it’s about why being humble makes for a great networker.
Humility and success are not mutually exclusive. Humble people don’t think less of themselves; they just think of themselves less.
What does humility look like? Here are nine ways people like Jack Canfield and Richard Branson demonstrate humility.
Their egos don’t enter the room before they do.
They’re approachable and easy to talk to.
They listen and ask questions during a conversation.
They maintain eye contact and show genuine interest.
They make people feel at ease and thank them when appropriate.
They focus on solutions rather than railing about problems.
They have situational awareness and strong emotional intelligence.
They don’t behave as if the world revolves around them.
They practice Givers Gain and strive to make a difference for others.
At a large networking event, I know I’ve had a good day when people share with me that they’re surprised at how easy I was to talk to.
Ivan Misner
If you’ve witnessed or been on the receiving end of an incredible demonstration of humility, share that experience with us in the comments.
This episode is sponsored by Ivan’s Inner Circle. Become a founding member today!
Complete Transcript of Episode 645
Priscilla Rice
Hello, everybody, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast. I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California. And I’m joined on the phone today by the founder and the chief visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello, Ivan. How are you and where are you today?
Ivan Misner
I just got back from Necker Island. A few days ago, I did International
Networking Week—networking internationally, I had an opportunity to spend some
time with Richard Branson. And another amazing experience there. So, a lot of
fun. I’ll be writing about it. You’ll see more as time goes on.
Priscilla Rice
Oh, great. Okay, tell us about this podcast.
Ivan Misner
This podcast is based on some material I’m working on with a
new book. And it’s got a section in it on humility. And so I want to talk about
being humble and how I think it makes for a great networker. I really believe
that humble people don’t think less of themselves. They just think of
themselves less.
Okay, so the best networkers I know are humble. In fact,
many of the most successful people I’ve ever met have been remarkably humble.
We just interviewed Jack Canfield a couple of weeks ago, and he’s a very, very
humble person. The guy sold 500 million books, but I’ve been out to dinner with
him. And you know, he never tells people who he is or, you know, his ego does
not enter the room before him. And so I really believe that being humble and
being successful don’t have to be mutually exclusive.
I remember years ago, going to a political function in my
late teens, and I had decided that I wanted to pour myself into a campaign for
a particular individual whose platform I appreciated. Then I met him. Now, I
was introduced to him by someone high up in his campaign, and as soon as he
learned that I was a lowly college student, I almost immediately lost this
guy’s attention. His eyes were darting across the room, he was looking for
someone else who was more successful than me. He ended up being very dismissive
of me and came across as incredibly arrogant.
After that encounter, I decided this isn’t the kind of
campaign I want to work on. Instead, I picked someone running for a different
office and this person was engaging and he was friendly. He was respectful with
people that didn’t appear to have much to offer.
By the way, Richard Branson is a lot like that. He can
connect and be respectful with any person at any level of an organization. And
I’ve got multiple stories about him behaving that way, behaving in a very
respectful way for people, you know, that are much lower down the rung of the
organization.
So this particular person welcomed my involvement in his
campaign, and within six months, I ended up running his entire regional
campaign office. I put hundreds of hours into that campaign for free, and I
helped this person win office. And this experience really taught me a lot about
the kind of leader that I wanted to be, as I became more successful in life.
Humility costs nothing, but it yields great returns. Being
humble sounds simple enough, but what does it actually look like? There are
many things that people can do to show their humility. And here’s a list of a
handful of them, nine of them that I think any BNI member can do, to show their
humility as they become more and more successful.
Here’s the first one. First and foremost, their ego doesn’t
enter the room before they do, as I said about Jack.
Second, they’re approachable. They’re approachable, meaning
they’re friendly and easy to talk to. So be easy to talk to when you’re when
you’re talking to people.
Third, listen, ask questions during a conversation.
Fourth, maintain eye contact in a conversation and stay
engaged in that discussion show genuine interest. That’s one of the things that
Branson’s amazing at. He is great at meaning maintaining eye contact with
anyone. I remember going to a party once and I had my young son with me. He was
17 years old, and there’s a photograph of Branson talking to my son Trey with
total and complete eye contact and engagement in the discussion and you know,
he’s a 17-year-old kid. Branson’s a billionaire, he didn’t have to give him his
time, but he did and it’s a great example of how humility plays out positively
in being a great networker.
Five, be comfortable making people feel at ease and thanking
people when appropriate. So make people feel at ease; thank them when it’s
appropriate.
Six, humble individuals tend to have an abundance mentality,
and they tend to focus on solutions rather than simply rail about problems.
Seven they’re situationally aware and have strong emotional
intelligence. They connect with people they’ve developed their emotional
intelligence skill set on.
Eight, they are not self-absorbed. They know their
strengths. They’re comfortable with who they are. But they don’t behave as
though the world revolves around them.
And nine, most importantly, they practice something that we
talk about in BNI all the time, and that is givers gain. They approach life
with a certain amount of altruism, and they strive to make a difference for
others.
As we become more successful in life, I think it’s critical
to maintain one’s humility. We’ve all met people whose ego enters the room
before they do. They behave in a pompous manner and they generally expect to be
the center of attention most of the time. In the long run, I don’t think that
serves people.
Well, I remember I had a co-author many, many, many years
ago, not one of my recent books. And as soon as the book came out, that person,
their head just grew like 10 times. They were really difficult in working with
people, and just because they’re now an author, their whole persona changed in
how they dealt with and networked with people. I think that’s a huge mistake. No
one’s perfect with this all the time. I’m not. The process is a journey. It’s
not a destination. It’s something that we always have to strive for, at large
networking events.
I know that I’ve had a good day when people share with me
that they’re surprised at how easy I was to talk to, or that they felt like I
came across (This is one of my favorites, Priscilla) “’Cause you’re like a real
person, like a regular person.” I always chuckle about that one because I
believe there’s a regular person in everyone. And showing that person to others
is really about being humble.
If you achieve success in business, strive to shatter
people’s expectations and demonstrate real humility. Be someone who is engaging
and caring, as well as knowledgeable and successful. And above all, remember
that humble people don’t think less of themselves. They just think of
themselves less. That’s what I have for today.
Priscilla, any thoughts?
Priscilla Rice
That’s perfect. I love it. I think that insecurity plays a
role in how people present themselves and so I think humility is always the
best way to go, but if you’re insecure about who you are, it comes off in a
different kind of way.
Ivan Misner
You know, that’s a good point. And I certainly didn’t address that in this podcast. But I think if you have some insecurities, one of the best things to do is to ask questions, which is a great thing to be doing networking anyway. Just ask somebody about them. What do they do? What do they love about what they do? What’s their target market? What are some of the challenges that they have in the business? You know, get the other person to talk and you don’t have to deal with your insecurities. You can ask them questions, and I found that that tends to warm people up, to then be able to talk about themselves a little more effectively. It also, you know, asking people questions, is a great, I think, a great sign of humility, because you’re asking them about them more than just about yourself. Right?
Priscilla Rice
And you make a really good point about being grateful.
Ivan Misner
Yeah, thank you. Yeah, recognizing people, in some way, you
know, if you meet somebody at an event that’s done stuff for you, you know,
acknowledging them recognizing them. And, you know, just when you’re at a
networking event, my goal when I go to networking events, and I’ve been at a
couple where you’ve been at, my goal is to meet as many people as possible,
shake hands, get to know people.
People always say “Oh, you’re so nice to take photographs.”
Gosh, that’s why I’m there. I go to these networking events to be connected
with BNI members. And heck, I could be digging ditches. It’s way easier to
shake hands and do photos. It is. Believe me, I worked my way through college with
manual labor. This is much easier and a lot more fun. And, again, the message
really is that as you achieve success, maintain that humility. Because that
humility serves you well, if you want to connect with people.
Priscilla Rice
Yeah, I totally agree.
Ivan Misner
That’s everything that I’ve got for today. Priscilla, thank
you. And you know what, let me add one thing, actually, I would love if you’re
listening to this podcast, to post something on this podcast that you’ve
witnessed, that showed someone’s humility, a positive story about something you
witnessed with someone and how they behaved that showed humility. There are a
lot of stories like my politician’s story about the negative. Give me some
positive about things that you’ve seen. Here’s why: it’s valuable for our
members to hear what are some of the techniques that other people have used? So
share it here on BNI Podcast. I’m done. I’m done now for real Priscilla.
Thanks.
Priscilla Rice
Okay. Thank you so much.
This podcast has a new sponsor. Go check out the great
content available at www.ivansinnercircle.com.
Ivan has assembled a wide variety of topics and you are invited to participate.
Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we look forward to
having you join us again next week for another exciting episode of The Official
BNI Podcast.
第666集 引薦人的5個級別（經典播客） 由於 "666 "這個數字對某些人來說意味著一些邪惡的東西，所以我們認為我們將做一個 "魔鬼在細節中 "的播客。 這個主題的細節非常重要，我們認為與數字有關的事情會很有趣。 我們保證，這個主題不是邪惡的。 它很詳細，所以要接受這部分。 米斯納博士曾一度概述了一個引薦的16個級別。但當他在寫第二版《 Networking Like a Pro 》的時候，他意識到他的級別應該與世界上大多數BNI引薦單上的5個級別一致。 這5個層次的介紹是累積起來的，在書中有詳細的闡述。 您分享了希望您的引薦夥伴聯繫的人的聯繫信息。 您還分享了有關與潛在客戶聯繫的人的其他信息（名片，營銷材料，網站）。 你給潛在客戶一個關於你所引薦的人的個人引薦信。 你打一個私人電話，安排潛在客戶和你引薦的人見面。 您可以在潛在客戶和您引薦的人之間進行面對面的介紹。 引薦的級別越低，將其轉化為業務的難度就越大。你的目標應該是給出至少是3級的引薦 引薦人的5個級別在《Networking Like a Pro》第36章。第二版中的第36章。你也可以在Misner博士的博客上閱讀更多關於它們的內容。 由Networking for Success頻道在YouTube上為您帶來。 第548集的文字記錄 Priscilla : 大家好，歡迎回到BNI官方播客，由YouTube上的Networking for Success頻道為您帶來，該頻道有Ivan Misner博士和其他許多網絡專家。我是Priscilla Rice，我從加州伯克利的Live Oak錄音室為大家帶來。我今天在電話中加入的是BNI的創始人和首席願景官， Ivan Misner 博士。你好， Ivan ，你在哪裡？ Ivan : 嗨， Priscilla 。我現在很好，我在北卡羅來納州夏洛特的新的全球支持團隊總部，在BNI的全球總部，BNI大約一年多前搬到了那裡，這就是我本週的工作地點。 Priscilla : 很好，跟我說說引薦人的五個級別。 Ivan : 引薦的五個級別-多年來，我已經撰寫了有關引薦的各個層次的書籍。 我曾經將其分解，我認為這是商務引薦中16個引薦級別。 我在 《 Networking Like a Pro 》 第一版中縮小了範圍。 但是在第二...
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